Man them McCain people are running a wicked campaign. Sure they're not as organized as Obama, and they don't raise the same kind of money and have the same kind of operations across the country. But they're energized and when they throw punches they're the drunk asshole with the trucker hat kind of punches that don't hit you square, but man do they sting. They just graze ya...and leave an annoying mark.
What are the top four punches of the McCain campaign?
1) Picking Palin, Palin, Palin. Man. Those on the right feel the same way about her that Obama supporters feel about Obama. It's a crazy feeling. A maniacal feeling. A feeling that allows you to forgive your candidate's glaring weaknesses. "Inexperience? How about you go fuck your mom?"
2) They've changed the narrative of the election away from the issues, and into the realm of biography, which was one smart, sly move. The GOP don't do issues man. Issues are for suckers. Besides, you can't beat McCain's "I was tortured almost to death defending my country and goddamn it I'm gonna be the best president cause of it" routine. And don't get me started on Sarah Palin's retarded baby. He's gold. Gold I tell you!
3) They've gone negative, and we're talkin bat-shit, crazy, condescending negative. This kind of negative holds on to its humor. So we get Obama's "The One" ads as opposed to "McCain fathered an illegitimate black baby" Karl Rove style ads. We get ads that are horrible, but man are they a laugh at the water cooler. Check out McCain's latest ad blasting Obama's education stance: "sex ed for kindergarten kids? Sex before they can even learn to read?" The ad is utter genius.
4) The McCain camp has bought $500,000 worth of time on the national networks, with an eye towards advertising nationally during daytime TV shows. Among the shows McCain has bought time during: The Price Is Right, Guiding Lights, and Days of Our Lives... Oh my fucking Allah: he's targeting the Sarah Palin's of the world! Holy fuck of Jesus are there a lot of them out there! Imagine all of them, en masse, dropping by their local school to vote for McCain in between their favourite soaps. If them voters don't tip the balance in his favor (you see how close those polls are getting?) I don't know what will.
2) They've changed the narrative of the election away from the issues, and into the realm of biography, which was one smart, sly move. The GOP don't do issues man. Issues are for suckers. Besides, you can't beat McCain's "I was tortured almost to death defending my country and goddamn it I'm gonna be the best president cause of it" routine. And don't get me started on Sarah Palin's retarded baby. He's gold. Gold I tell you!
3) They've gone negative, and we're talkin bat-shit, crazy, condescending negative. This kind of negative holds on to its humor. So we get Obama's "The One" ads as opposed to "McCain fathered an illegitimate black baby" Karl Rove style ads. We get ads that are horrible, but man are they a laugh at the water cooler. Check out McCain's latest ad blasting Obama's education stance: "sex ed for kindergarten kids? Sex before they can even learn to read?" The ad is utter genius.
4) The McCain camp has bought $500,000 worth of time on the national networks, with an eye towards advertising nationally during daytime TV shows. Among the shows McCain has bought time during: The Price Is Right, Guiding Lights, and Days of Our Lives... Oh my fucking Allah: he's targeting the Sarah Palin's of the world! Holy fuck of Jesus are there a lot of them out there! Imagine all of them, en masse, dropping by their local school to vote for McCain in between their favourite soaps. If them voters don't tip the balance in his favor (you see how close those polls are getting?) I don't know what will.
Like I said. Brilliant (again).
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